||[Mar. 21st, 2013|08:03 pm]
The reason I am saying anything at all is because I have an ego. An ego that does not want to be alone. An ego that wishes to exist outside of the moment, and as a result will do things to take itself out of the moment. So therefore the ego wants the thoughts at the present time to be more than ephemeral. The ego wants the thoughts to be recorded for a time period, for its fingerprint to have a manifestation that is beyond its temporal location. So the ego writes and talks and shares. The Ego is your friend, it has to be your friend. Here is the thing, there are unpleasant people (or really egos) that we may interact with all the time who might be rude, or yell slurs at us or some shit, but then you walk off and you probably never see them again. So that doesn't matter. But is there is anyone who you keep chilling with all the time it makes sense to befriend them even if they might rub yo thewrong way. You don't have to fight what was someone who fave you an annoying first impression, you can just love them and give them a lot of love. Befriend your sadness and your anger and your frustration. It is all you have to love. |
I was thinking about the last words to the song "Kisses Sweeter Than Wine" by the Weavers. It is something along the lines of "When I think about having children and working and living and loving with all the pain and love I would do it again." I would like to think that however little we do not appreciate life we may sometimes get a chance to suddenly appreciate all that there was. And know, know that there is not necessarily any big goal or any big lesson, and things aren't happening for a reason, especially any reason that is an integral part of the story. What really is happening is sort of a chaos of light and sensational stimuli that your brain is ordering into some pattern. You might be able to carve a reason out of a recollection of all life events but there is no reason. Things are just happening. If you never appreciate anything, because my G-d maybe you have a really fucking ruddy deal, or no one ever told you how to, that is the way it is. There is nothing sad or bad about it, you were a player in the game, a game you might not have liked but you got to play and I think that is really special.
I wish it was this way I wish it was that way. People wish a whole lot. Who could blame them? I sometimes dream of a world were there are no more judgments.
People seem to want to expedite the issues of harm in their communities to a centralized standardized agency which is the criminal justice system. It is like the ISO for dealing with offenders. While standardization is really good it can take out some of the organize fun there can be in making things on your own. I'd recommend standardization for dealing with any objects you might be manufacturing or shipping, but when it comes to people should such standardized and dehumanized guides be applied to them as well? It makes it easy for the communities and community members who do not see themselves as someone who would ever be an offender. However for those who are labelled as offenders, the large and standardized system makes it very difficult for them to shake their label, or to find community justice.